Transformation

Jan 26 to Feb 1/06
We stopped for the usual practice – dump station and watering hole – in Holtville, California enroute to Yuma. It was manned by a volunteer, a Canadian from Quebec (or is that an oxymoron?). He made sure we paid our $5 fee and told us about the Holtville Hot Springs which are on BLM (Bureau of Land Mgmt) lands. According to him, we can park Maggie for 2 weeks for $30 or the whole season for $140. Fernie, who absolutely loves hot springs, perked up and told me to “note that down for the future”. I of course saluted and obliged him.

Our desert spot just outside Yuma is near “Pilot Knob” a lone craggy mountain. The land is very sandy and we had to be sure not to go off the beaten path as one could quickly get stuck. You can see the deep ruts where others have faltered. No cacti around us but an occasional ocotillo, which I guess is classified as a cactus. Some low growing shrubs (I don’t know if they’re sage brush, but they look a lot like them) dot the landscape and south about a half mile away, there are low-lying sand dunes. When we walked Caesar there each morning, he delighted in the soft sinking and moving sand, after the more gritty sand of the flats. One morning, we’re going to pack a thermos of coffee and one of tea, some fresh fruit and cinnamon buns and have a picnic breakfast in the dunes, just after the sun rises.

I haven’t been lucky finding free WIFI, so had to use MacDonald’s but it’s not the best sitting in the car, laptop on my knees.

Another couple of friends (L&I) stay in Yuma for two to three months in the Foothills area, east of the city. They rent space, sharing a lot in a fairly built-up area and have all services. It’s ideal if you plan on staying put for a while. We visited them and just down the street, Fernie found an ‘RV Wash’. He was so excited and plans to get his Maggie done ASAP. I personally think that it will just get dirty again – as long as the inside is clean, I’m happy.

Yuma is booming, new shopping centres, restaurants, golf courses and everything that seniors want. Of course, there are RV’s and mobile homes everywhere, from posh resorts to desert dwellers. There is an apparent lack of rush hour here – almost everyone’s retired and it’s rare to see children. The area is surprisingly green. It’s amazing how a little irrigation can turn arid desert into lush farmland. Busloads of Mexicans in grimy old school buses, towing porta-potties, pull into the fields and get to work. They wear long pants and sleeves and cover their heads against the sun. Lettuce is cut, vacuum packed and boxed right out in the fields. According to our friends (L&I), the Imperial Valley produces more vegetables than anywhere else in the USA.

We spent a day with L&I touring the area surrounding Yuma. I, as driver, relegated the men to the back seat to reverse the trend of the traditional snowbirdin’ seniors. Surprisingly, they were quite content back there. We started with breakfast at the Happy Chef’s diner in the historical core of the city. Cushy booths enveloped our derrieres in an antique tramcar, while we feasted on the 2/2/2 special for $2.95. A choice of two x three from eggs, pancakes, French toast, bacon, sausages, hash browns, toast. The bill came to just over $8. Our server was a carbon copy of every diner waitress I’ve ever seen – long stringy hair pulled back at the neck, big smile in spite of her bad teeth, wearing a nylon acetate uniform in a turquoise hue, not too brainy but mighty friendly.

Date palm groves proliferate and we stopped at a kiosk for some ‘date ice cream’ – not for me, but for my ice cream addicted partner. He gave it a big ‘Thumbs up’. Only about twenty miles north of Yuma, the US Army has based the Yuma Proving Grounds where paratroopers display their skills in thrilling aerial manoeuvres. A couple of enlisted men checked our photo ID and vehicle registration and issued us a pass to enter the base. They quipped with the usual jokes about the men in the back seat and a blond driving – I wisecracked back while hiding my grimace of “I’ve heard all this before”.

We toted our blankets and a couple of cushions out onto the lush green fields. “I” (not me but my friend "I") brought an extra visor for me to wear and I didn’t immediately understand why. In order to see the jumpers, we lied flat on our backs looking into the bright sunshine and so I slipped the visor on transforming myself into an Arizona golden-ager. But it worked marvelously. Too bad that I didn’t get a photo – I know a couple of family members would guffaw relentlessly.

Tuesday was our RV maintenance day. We took Maggie to a Ford-recommended service centre to have our battery checked – they said it’s ok, which contradicts what another mechanic told us but we can’t argue – it’s a warranty item. While waiting, I lucked into free WIFI and was able to email some of my photos to my enlisted blog assistant. Fernie had been wailing non-stop about his dirty motorhome, so this was the day Maggie was treated to the ultra supreme RV wash, wax and detail. At $2.50 a foot and thirty foot long, it came to $75.
I argued for the $1 a foot basic but F won because he paid out of his gambling winnings. Our final stop was at an Onan generator service centre, for a repair to our on-board generator – the air filter cover had broken away. But they had to order the part, so now we have to wait and take her back again.

It’s apparent to me now that seniors on a fixed income can live down here quite cheaply. Some park their RV for 14 days in the desert then move along to a casino for a few days and return to the desert for another 14 days – all free. Or they pay $140 for a six-month pass to stay on BLM lands. Clothing is very reasonable, particularly casual clothes, which is what everyone lives in. Flea markets prevail – new items as well as used and they open Thursday to Sunday every week.

Today – Wednesday, we were introduced to a ‘routine’ that gets you a ‘free lunch’. Only a couple of weeks ago, I would have scorned such behaviour, now I’m part of this grey mafia. The Cocopah Casino, just on the outskirts of Yuma, has ‘Over 55’ day every Wednesday.

This is the routine:
- Line up for a player’s card and coupon book
- Go to the cashier with your coupon book and buy $10 of coins (I chose quarters) They give you five $1 tokens
- Put the tokens into a slot machine and immediately push the ‘cash out’ button (of course, this only works for those that can resist the lure of slot machines). A ticket for $5 pops out the top of the machine.
- Take the ticket to the cashier and convert to cash and the roll of quarters too if you don’t need them for laundry.
- You are now $5 ahead but if you’re hungry, there’s a $3 coupon in the booklet for the buffet, which is normally $7.50 – now $4.50 so you come out 50 cents ahead unless you use the coupon for a 50-cent beer and then you break even.

Who said “There’s no such thing as a free lunch?”